Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If it is one goose and two geese…then why isn’t it one moose and two meese?

If I save time, when do I get it back?

If a store is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

What happens if you get scared half to death, ...twice? - Steven Wright

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

What's the synonym for thesaurus?

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?

Who was Jesus Murphy anyway?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?

Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?

Why do people tell you when they are speechless?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why do you feet smell and your nose runs?

Why does a grapefruit look nothing like a grape?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that when we KNOW the batteries in a remote are dead, we push the buttons harder?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

NEVER SAY NEVER – The Maple Leafs sit five points out of the playoffs with nine games to go. It is not looking good for the boys in blue and white. They will likely need to win seven or eight of their remaining games and at the same time hope that they get some help from other teams.

ULTIMATE FISHING TOWN – Area resident Leonard Waring has nominated Cornwall as Canada’s Ultimate Fishing Town. Keep in mind that communities have until April 8, 2011 to nominate themselves by submitting photos, videos and testimonials at www.WFNFishingTown.com.